writing task 2. This is my fisrt essay. Please help me


Welcome to Academic IELTS Help Forums Student Support writing task 2. This is my fisrt essay. Please help me

Viewing 8 posts - 1 through 8 (of 8 total)
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  • #72055
    Huong
    Participant

    Get people under 18 ride motorcycle?
    Whether parents should let their children under 18 old ages ride motorbike benefits or not is controversial. While I disagree with the idea of the negative impact on health and the environment caused by driving, I do believe that it also has some positive effects on individuals for transportation.

    On the one hand, there are some reasons why parents should consider that riding motorbike is convenient for their child not only for transportation but also developing skills. For instance, the under 18 old -age schoolers can go home directly after finishing classes without waiting for their parent for a long time. Moreover, other activities such as sporting event, they would not have to rely on their parents which give them a sense of independence. As a result, the flexibility of their improved daily and they can handle situation occurred on the road quickly

    On the other hand, It is undeniable that driving vehicle results in human life and pollution. Firstly, because of soaring the number of motorcycles on the streets, these younger riders, who are not trained how to ride safely, are more likely to be injured in a crash. According to statistics, motorbike fatalities relate to 70 % of all vehicle-related fatalities in Viet Nam every year. Secondly, the contaminated environment is the worst problem. If each young student driving a motorbike, it will increase the number of vehicles so that it might make air and noise pollutions.

    In conclusion, it is certainly true that young students ride motor brought in benefits can be seen, but these drawbacks listed of this phenomenon also need to focus.

    #72062
    aeadmin
    Keymaster

    Hi Huong, This is a band 5.
    You have several grammar and language use mistakes that make your essay incoherent at times. You need to review for these.

    #72061
    sapna
    Participant

    very nice and good consider

    #72060
    Ngoc
    Participant

    Very nice. Keep going 😀

    #72059
    aeadmin
    Keymaster

    Always adding more and more. Thanks for the compliment.

    #72058
    erichuff
    Participant

    nice job

    #72057
    katiequinn
    Participant

    cool

    #72056
    aeadmin
    Keymaster

    Thanks : )

Viewing 8 posts - 1 through 8 (of 8 total)
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