please , can somebody check my writing


Welcome to Academic IELTS Help Forums Student Support please , can somebody check my writing

  • This topic has 0 replies, 1 voice, and was last updated 6 years ago by aeadmin.
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  • #72286
    aeadmin
    Keymaster

    Deforestation caused by human activity is happening in many parts of the world . With serious results for the environment . What do you think can be done to solve this problem ?

    Nature environment is necessary for both humans and animals . nature provide habitats for different animals from small insects to large mammals . Humans can profit a lot of advantages due nature . Such us , food like fruits and vegetables and a variety of different goodies .Now,  modern humans get to use this precious environment to make products . Deforestation is a way to reach raw materials to manufacture products . Cutting trees cause to bad results for nature world .There are many ways and solutions to deal with this serious dilemma .

    Firstly , countries around the world  should make an agreement to stop deforestation . If every country in the globe stopped cutting off trees , no more quandaries  will effect the environment . For instance , stopping deforestation is a must step to solve all the issues.

    secondly and most mainly , people should find other ways to outcome manufactures . It is more recommended in modern countries such as Sweden , to recycle  trash and used products . Recycling prevent  myriad pollutants .  It can block air  pollution , so no more gazes in the atmosphere that leads to effect birds and humans .  Water pollution, can be avoided as well . Aquatic animals are no longer in danger , and water is more healthier for humans to drink . In other words , recycling is an accomplished alternative  of deforestation , that is the key to finish problems that endanger creatures’ habitats .

    Deforestation is an enormous dilemma , that effects both humans and animals . I think that if all the responsible institutions of deforestation activities around the globe ended this , a whole of serious issues will be avoided . To clarify , stopping  deforestation and finding other ways instead of cutting trees , will be a huge step to stop present and future dilemmas .

    #72287
    aeadmin
    Keymaster

    Hi Qamar,

    This is a good effort on this essay. It would score a 4.5 on IELTS.

    To find out why, please submit your essays for professional editing by using the “task 1″ and “task 2″ buttons in your “my student account”.

    All the best.

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