Hello everybody! Here is My Essay 2. Please make some corrections if it's needed


Welcome to Academic IELTS Help Forums Student Support Hello everybody! Here is My Essay 2. Please make some corrections if it's needed

  • This topic has 0 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 3 years ago by aeadmin.
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  • #72034
    Arailym
    Participant

    ➖Many of the medical problems that people are experiencing in today’s world are due to the fact that we have a very sedentary lifestyle.
    To what extent to you agree?

    It is often argued that nowadays people have a lot of different medical issues because of a very sedentary lifestyle. I completely agree with this opinion that it may cause big problems for the health.
    First of all, I believe that active lifestyle is the right way to make our bodies in a good shape. Moreover, it’s good to the mental health too. If I have the opportunity, or even right mood, to be active throughout the day, I always choose to do sports. For instance, yoga is a known as a relaxing and given energy type of activity. So that person, which doesn’t like active sports or unable to do workouts, can do yoga as a daily routine, as I do.
    Secondly, if we lead by laziness and although have a very quiet lifestyle, it may cause big problem on our health and the health of future generations. Who is not interested in this question? It is well known, that genes in our bodies have a memory and also record everything that were and are during the life. Therefore, I am interested to keep my physical and mental health in a good condition. At least, what is in my rights and possibilities.
    Lastly, medical services are very expensive today. More or less, it is difficult to find a good physician too. So I want to emphasize that if we want to keep some money, or better to say a bunch of money, just eat healthy food and do exercises. For instance, I prefer to eat fruits rather than meat, and I try to work out every day as much as possible due to health condition.
    To conclude, I strongly believe that it is more than important to have an active lifestyle rather than a sedentary lifestyle if we want to be healthy.

    #72036
    aeadmin
    Keymaster

    Hi Arailym, This is some good writing for Task 2 and would score a band 7.5 on the exam. To learn your mistakes, use the editing services in your My Student Account. Keep up the good studies.

    #72035
    sacarlett
    Participant

    Agree with the comment above me.

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