Evaluate my pie chart explanation

[aeadmin]

 

 

 The pie charts compare the population of different regions globally in two separate years of 1900 and 2000. Overall it can be clearly seen that the Europe and Asia’s popullation is slightly decreased during the period.

To begin with, Europe incuding Russia had the popullation of about a quarter of the worlds total population in 1900. However its population saw a decline in the year of 2000. Likewise, the population of Asia fell steadily from 1900 to 2000.

 Moreover, the amounts of habitats in africa, latin america and the Middle East rose dramatically from 1900 to 2000. Middle East proportion is worth mentioning as it grew from 0% to 6 % in hte given period. 

Furthermore, the values of individuals in North America and other countries remained in hte period of 1900 and 2000.

To synopsize, the overall amounts of the individuals increased , although there was a slight decrease in the proportions of population of Asia and Europe.

[aeadmin]

Hi Isaac,

There are some serious factual mistakes in the essay. For example, you say Asia’s population decreased, when in actual fact it increased from 950 million to over 3.6 billion from 1900 to 2000.

Also, “synopsize” is not a word that is in common use. Use “to summarize”.

For a full edit and comment, submit the essay for editing through your “my student account”. If you look in the right place, you can even find some discount coupons for editing services!

[aeadmin]

Please evaluate my sample answer to writing task 1, question 7. Thanks!

The line graph illustrates the forecasted population development of China and India starting from the year 1990 to 2050. The y-axis represents the number of people in billions from 0.8 to 1.6, with 0.1 increments. While the x-axis shows the decades from 1990 to 2050. China is represented by the blue dotted line while India is a straight red line.

During 1990, China started with an estimated population of 1.15 billion compared to India that had only 0.85 billion. China had steadily increased its population from 1990 to 2020 (1.15 to 1.42 billion respectively) and reached its peak the next decade of 1.45 billion in 2030 and then it will gradually decrease to 1.39billion until 2050. On the other hand, India’s population started in 1990 at 0.85 billion and is sharply increasing decades after decades with a projected population of 1.6 billion people in 2050.

In summary, based on the trends, India is expected to surpass the population of China after 2030 and it will continue to rise onwards after 2050.

[aeadmin]

Hi Clargie,
There are some grammatical errors but overall this is a strong response and should score about 7 on the academic IELTS. Your analysis could be a bit more detailed but the overall cohesion and complexity of your language is quite good. If you would like a more detailed edit, please submit your writing through one of our editing services. It is worth the price.

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