Essay Evaluation!

Viewing 2 posts - 1 through 2 (of 2 total)
  • Author
  • #72063

    Dear Sir,

    I would be grateful if you could please evaluate my below given essay and provide me your feedback.

    Question: In recent years, there has been a worrying decline in children’s literacy skills. What has caused children’s reading and writing skills to be underdeveloped and what are the effects of this on both individuals and society?


    The students’ early education has become a challenge for the parents as well as for the government, now a day. There are quite a few reasons behind it, however, in this essay, I will cover a few of them.

    New generation children have become addicted to the technology and therefore, they do not concentrate on their schooling, most often, they utilize mobile phones and gadgets to do their homework, which is the main reason behind their lack of the reading and writing skills. Yet another reason is working parents, which can not provide the desired attention to their child, due to which, the child ignores the academic activities. Next is, due to the poor financial condition of parents, the child could not be able to purchase pricey books. Finally, the computers worksheets, which have replaced the usage of pencil and copies, students prefer to work out on the computers rather than writing with their own hand.

    As far as effects are concerned, firstly, lack of leadership in the society due to poor schooling of the children, secondly, the society lose to find quality professionals, therefore, there could be a massive shortage of skilled workers, in the job market. Another effect is poor handwriting and reading skills of the school leavers, they could not be able to work at their workplace due to their poor skills. Next is, increase of unskilled youth, fuels up towards an illiterate society, where the crime rate could be increased due to unemployment.

    In conclusion, both the government and parents should take necessary action for sake of improvements in the students’ academics, such as government should instruct the school management and the teachers to ensure reduce exposure of the computers and gadgets to the students, on the other hand, parents should concentrate on their children, by means of providing duty of care to them, in addition, parents must make sure, the homework should be done manually rather than using computer in order to get their child’s writing and reading skills improved.

    372 words


    Hi Aqeel, This essay would score a band 5.
    You make grammar and language use mistakes which impede comprehension, and this drops your score. Also, write a direct thesis statement, it will be better.

Viewing 2 posts - 1 through 2 (of 2 total)
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.