Hi Tuan, unfortunately you made a mistake clearly identifying the topic and this caused you to write a poor essay. The topic here is ’employee qualifications’ and the controlling idea is ‘the reasons for preferring academic rather than life experience, is it good or bad” Also, you need to focus on syntax, word-choice and grammar. Even though you are using some good vocabulary, you are not using them well. I recommend submitting your work through our editing services for more detailed marking and feedback. As is, this essay would score band 6 at most. In either case, keep up the good work.
aeadmin